Oh, right, a blog

So I refuse to do the thing where I say, "I've been really bad about posting on my blog, and from this point on blah, blah, blah...". Because I know it will never happen. I'm terrible at posting things on a schedule, be it writing, photography, or anything else I'm doing "just for me." So I'm sure it will be another 8 months before it even occurs to me to post something here again. [Note to future self: Welcome to April! How was winter?]

That said, I thought I would record a few things that came up this weekend. For posterity's sake. For example:

During a game of Streaky Bacon, the phrase "pants-destroying erection" was written. Good god, what a thought. A few days later, during a conversation about god knows what, (although I believe the phrase "Throbbing Member" was ultimately to blame), the idea was presented that human development -- puberty in particular -- would be a lot different if, every time someone got a raging erection, it was accompanied by a raucous Dub-step beat. It would most likely be unique to the individual -- which introduced a whole new trait for which females could select, (take this sample conversation: "So how was your date with Todd?" "He was really attractive, but man he just didn't have a good rhythm. I can't be with a guy with no rhythm.")

Also, it would be singularly impossible to hide the offending erection when, for example, you were called to answer a question during 7th grade math class.

"Now who can tell me the answer to question 3? Jimmy?"
"BBWWAAUUMM WAM WAM WAM WAAAUUUMM BBWWAAUUMM WAUM..."
"Now settle down, class, It's a part of life. He can't help it. Can you, Jimmy?"
"BBWAAUUMM WAM WAM WAAUUM..."

...I sure am glad we can still have intelligent conversations around here.

On a totally different note, it's almost Halloween, and while I've never cared a great deal about my costume, I have developed a certain passion for pumpkin carving. So I have two days to come up with an amazing design. Here are my pumpkins from the last few years, for inspiration:


Morpheus - 2009


Cthulhu Pumpkin - 2008


The Nightmare Before Christmas - 2007

Cookies

I heard a great metaphor today:

Sex is like making cookies. Sure, cookies are great; but it's also fun to mix the ingredients and eat the cookie dough without ever putting it in the oven.

...As long as you take the proper precautions against salmonella.