Update: Haircut!

And oh, yeah. I got a haircut. No, like a serious haircut:

Road Trip - Highlights

It's been a while since I've posted anything here, so as a place-filler I'll post some highlights of the road trip thus far:

So far, we've spotted licence plates from over half of the states in the union, (including Hawaii!), and we're only in eastern Texas.

Stopped in Nashville, TN to see the Parthenon. Or, at least, a very accurate recreation of the Parthenon. What it's doing in the middle of Tennessee I'll never know, but at least it has towns nearby called Sparta and Carthage to keep it company.

Stopped in Memphis, TN for some amazing dry-rub pork ribs at a little back-alley place called The Rendezvous. Seriously delicious ribs. I felt like I had wandered into the Food Network's show about finding the best food around America.

Following that, we walked down Beale Street and saw live music, a backflip competition, and a crazy guy on a motor scooter. Favorite sight: a sign at the top of the street reading: "First chance for a drink! Next opportunity: 20 feet."

Coming up: The Texarkana post office, which straddles the state line between Texas and Arkansas. I'll be in two states at once! ...And I can send snail mail at the same time!

Caterpillar 1

Cookies

I heard a great metaphor today:

Sex is like making cookies. Sure, cookies are great; but it's also fun to mix the ingredients and eat the cookie dough without ever putting it in the oven.

...As long as you take the proper precautions against salmonella.

Late Nights

Dust, that thick perfume of
pine and fiberboard which clogs
my pores, fills my nostrils and
mixes into a paste with my sweat,
now circulates the room at roughly
one hundred thousand parts per million.

Four A.M. is no time for power tools.

Noa Grace David Goes For A Joyride

My friend Biebs was showing me pictures of her niece, Noa. I couldn't pass up this prime Photoshop opportunity.

(See the original image here).

P.S. This was a quick chop, but I think it's looking pretty good. Let me know if there are any details you notice that I can hammer out to make it look better.

::EDIT::
I colored out the orange light on the dashboard. Thanks for the catch, Ricky.

I Saw A Squirrel: "Thermodynamics"

I Saw A Squirrel: "Mind Over Matter"

Low Rumbling, Plastic Ivy and Eggo Waffles

They grumble and stomp their feet
demanding word -- a few lines
posted on a painted nail,
parchment flapping in the venting breeze;
a rope dangles from a beam,
looped above a lantern, an old woman,
an elephant and a coffin --
any sign of life.

Will this do?

The hours flash past,
each day melts into the next
with only enough time in between
to unwrap the black from my back
and fall unceremoniously onto cotton sheets
before the sparrows call me out again.

I am lost.
Is it Tuesday already?

The valley fills with purple clouds
and electricity bends like a rainbow
over the horizon,
tapping its toe on either side of the ridge.
Paper lanterns hang precariously in the periphery,
but they do not move. Not one inch.

The heat slips off into the shadows;
even it is getting more sleep than I.

C'est la vie, they say,
and they are absolutely right.
Who am I to raise my voice? My cries
echo into a nest of ants
scurrying here and there with their wares;
I speculate on the odds of one
hitting his head on a chandelier.
The space is getting smaller.

Did we change the world in under an hour?
The champagne still buzzes around my head,
a pesky fly I cannot wave away.
Or maybe it's the sugar. Who can tell?

I never got my sandwich.
It's a comment on something, I'm sure.

Still,
he waits patiently for her to call.
After all, chocolate kisses are the best.

In the meantime,
the twenty-five cent alarm clock beckons.
Here's hoping it still works.

---

Post script:

Alas. It does not.
It spins quietly, but emits only static.
I suppose one gets what one pays for.

Fire Escape

I Saw A Squirrel: "Public Transportation"

Encounter

I saw you suddenly dancing
across the night,
wearing wings of light and silver,
drifting lazily on the wind
without direction, except...

I caught your eyes,
pricks of brightness darting behind
their smooth, black cases,
glinting gunmetal armor
hiding every thought except...

I felt your arms
snake like silk around me
your fingers tangled like ivy into my hair,
your hot, orange breath
tracing mazes
into the corners of my neck
but saying nothing, except...

I knew your touch,
the red shivers from your fingertips,
the feathered whisper of your lips
gliding over my textured skin
every hair rising to greet
those seductive echoes,
screaming out to stop, except...

I saw myself under the surface with you,
pitching and turning on the waves
of fire and passion
and every breath in the room, and every
flick of the clock drew us
closer to the waking hour.

And the birds sang,

and the light pierced through
your ghostly image.

Welcome back,
you said.

And you were gone.

Things I Learned At Work Today

1. Despite my predictions, it is, in fact, possible to work a 14-hour day, stay up late drinking, get 4 hours sleep, and then wake up at 8am to repeat the process.

2. It is harder to focus stage lights when you are dangling upside-down from an I-beam harnessed into the high steel than you would think.

3. Meta-Algebra:
a. 2x4 + 2x4 + 2x4 + 2x4 = Platform framing.
b. Holding 2x4 in place + Nail gun = Helpful and efficient.
c. Nail gun + My thumb = Lots of blood + Light-headedness.
d. My thumb + Hospital staff + Tetanus shot = Crabby nurse.
e. Tetanus shot + No stitches + No bone contact + Workman's Comp = VERY, VERY LUCKY.

4. People are cynical and sarcastic when they think you injured yourself. People are much nicer when they learn that someone else did it to you.


------- EDIT: -------

5. When people who have just met you accidentally shoot you through the thumb with a nail gun and watch you bleed all over the shop floor, they will make you wonderful trophies, (even if they don't yet know your last name).

Keith Olbermann Special Comment

Wow.

More links. Watch this. Now. (11 minutes combined).

* Keith Olbermann - part 1
* Keith Olbermann - part 2

"And sir, if you have any hopes that next January 20th will not be celebrated as a day of soul-wrenching, heart-felt thanksgiving because your faithless stewardship of this presidency will have finally come to a merciful end, this last piece of advice--"

PSF

A brief note:

For those that didn't know, I will be leaving in just under 6 hours to begin my summer internship at the Pennsylvania Shakespeare Festival at DeSales University.

For the next twelve (12) weeks, I will undertake all the duties of the "swing intern," which, as I understand, means I will be the production manager's bitch for the summer. Which is fine by me -- I haven't had an honest day's work in a long time, and this will be a great way for me to get my foot in the door and make some connections within the theater world. Hooray.

This also means I will be living at DeSales U until Aug. 6. In a dorm room. Possibly with a roommate. If I have one, my challenge for myself will be to see how much like Freshman year at VC I can make this experience. Mainly, I will try to get the roommate to move out after six weeks. If I find him doing lines of coke off my desk, I'll know I'm almost there.

Don't worry. I'll have my computer and phone, so I won't be entirely dead to the world. But I will be living on theater time -- very much like my life at VC, except I won't have the periodic nap-times throughout the day that were my classes.

Anyway. It starts.

I Saw A Squirrel: "A Brief Chat With God"

Everyone should see this...

It's educational. It's entertaining. Mostly it's just pretty.

It's sort of long, but do watch it to the end. That's where it gets good.

http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/260.

For Your Consideration

Parrot Tulip, From Above.

Thoughts?

Encounter

On this whispered night,
    lying secret between a cool spring breeze
and a deep crimson quilt,
    your weightless kisses float across my face —
my cheeks, my eyes — and tickle the very
    corners of my curling breath.

Red brush strokes blossom across each silken curve
    as roaming petals dance and explore
the small of your back, and we tumble and fall
    within the rich folds of color
until dew seasons every finger of grass
    and birds' songs float and mingle with new light,
refracting through a green and smiling world.

Here's To You, Matthew Vassar!

Happy Founder's Day! Today is the day when all Vassarians come together in all their inebriated glory to celebrate the founder of their beloved school, the most honorable Matthew Vassar. And if all has gone according to plan, I have successfully made the trek back to Poughkeepsie so that I, too, might celebrate this man and all that he knew and loved.


Matthew Vassar was a brewer by trade, and any self-respecting Vassar student will proudly tell you that Main building was designed with exceptionally wide halls so that, in case the school failed, Mr. Vassar could convert it easily into a brewery. This cunning and ingenious forethought was -- and continues to be -- an inspiration to all of us; his legacy lives on each and every day through the age-old college traditions of mildly responsible consumption and all out binge drinking alike.


Fortunately, his school was a success. And so once a year, as the sun rises over the quad and the warm spring weather descends once more from its hibernation hole in the Catskill mountains or somewhere, Vassar students, alums, faculty and friends take a day to honor their founder and all that he was able to accomplish. And how better to celebrate the man than by driving a giant beer truck onto Balentine Field and spending the day playing, dancing and enjoying the company of friends, all with a plastic mug of suds clasped faithfully in our inebriated fists.

Here's to you, Matthew Vassar. May your soul rest blissfully, and may our intoxicated--wait, no; -ing, intoxicating--laughter show our deep appreciation for all that you have done.